At The Pearly Gates

We find ourselves ten years into the future.  An elderly George W. Bush has died and is now standing in front of the Pearly Gates.  He is standing before Saint Peter.  






































St. Peter:  Please give me your Name and Date of Birth.


George W Bush:   George W. Bush born July 6, 1946.


St. Peter:  You should know that we debated letting you in.  


Our biggest concern was the Iraq War.  It was maybe the worst idea in the last 50 years.  It left a mess in the Middle East, but in the end we all agreed that you had no idea what you were doing.  You even may have meant well.    


The road to hell may be paved with good intentions, but we don’t enforce that rule.  So congratulations, you are in! 


GB:  Great.  Can I see Dick?


SP: You mean Dick Cheney?  Sorry but he is not here.  He is in Hell.  


When we voted, he was elected into Hell by a unanimous vote.    


GB:  You vote?


SP:  Yes, on national leaders and celebrities?    


GB:  Who are the voters?   


SP:  The deceased baseball writers.


GB:  So how did I do?  


SP:  You got in with 75 percent of the ballots.  Some writers don’t think anyone should get in unanimously.   Recently, only Mother Theresa and Willie Mays were let in with a unanimous vote.   Tom Seaver and Jimmy Carter each were voted in with one vote against.  


Even Abe Lincoln had one vote against.  George Washington was let in unanimously.   


GB: I am shocked that Dick is in Hell.


SP: Don’t be, he’s found his niche.  He regularly plays poker with Saddam Hussein, Vladimir Putin and Adolph Hitler.  He looks like he is having a good time.  Says he does not miss Montana Winters.  




































GB: But what about the fires of hell?


SP: The fires are mostly a story made up to frighten the gullible.  


The real punishment of hell is that one will never see the face of God.


Of course Dick Cheney doesn’t give a shit about God so there is no suffering.  He is fine with spending all eternity with other empty souls. 


GB:  Who else in in Hell?  


SP:  Donald Trump is there.  


He wanted to be let in on the poker game with Dick Cheney and -Putin but he cheats, so no one wanted to play with him.  


Some others are Stalin and Mao.  Also Elon Musk.   He had a surprisingly dark side.  


There are lots of others but you would not know the names.  


GB:  So Trump is in Hell?  


SP:  Of course.  We did not even need to take a vote.  


GB: What does Trump do?  


SP: He is desperate for affection.  No one wants to sit near him.  Even Stalin tries to hide as soon as he hears his voice.  Only Elon Musk will spend any time with him.  Still he thinks Trump is an idiot. 


GB: So is Trump an idiot?  


SP: Yes.  Stupider than you.  

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