Can An Atheist Raise a Moral Child? ... Yes!

I am sure you have heard Mike Huckabee say that our removal of religion from our public schools ultimately made the Connecticut shooting possible.  Right wing media have picked up on this and spread the word.  From an angry Mark Levin, to a more restrained Larry Kudlow (who spoke to a Fr. John McCloskey yesterday  on this same topic) the word it out.  Yep, the shooting was another instance of our secular society letting us down. 

But did the recent shooting and all similar shootings occur because our society lacks morality?  And does it take religion to foster moral behavior? 

No. 

There is no correlation between religion and violent behavior.  Our “blue states” are nominally less religious than the red states, but they don’t show higher homicide rates than the “red states.”  In fact, the highest homicide rates include a number of Bible belt (and southern) states.  And the states with the lowest homicide rates  include several very liberal state in New England. 

I was raised in a very traditionally religious household, but lost my religion while I was in high school (Pope Pius XII high school in Passaic NJ.  My wife is also not religious, and so we raised our son completely without religion.   He was not even baptized (which was something of a surprise for everyone).  And except for weddings and funerals, has never attended a church service.  Nonetheless, from all appearances, he is very ethical and moral.  He also shows real gentleness towards all of creation, from the flowers that he plants on his balcony, to our two cats.  And he still talks about his beloved Peanut, a greyhound who lived with us from 1992 – 2006.   And despite missing out on years of moral nonsense about sexual sin, his behavior would fit that of a Catholic school graduate from my era.

So what does create a moral man or woman?

Like every behavior, we learn from our parents and from the other adults in our lives.  My son lived in typical middle class surroundings, so saw adults who went to work everyday and did their best to balance work and family. We did not use corporal punishment when he did something he shouldn’t have, and when we did chastise him, it was done by talking calmly.  Nor did he see his parents fight.  Yes, we argued (as all couples do) but nothing out of hand and not generally when he was around. 

When it came to outside activities, both of us volunteered when called upon. I was a  soccer coach for a few seasons and a time keeper for basketball.  When Nick joined the Cub Scouts, my wife and I both became den leaders.  When Nick went on to Boy Scouts, I became treasurer and went on a few campouts – even though I hate camping.  My wife helped with various school activities and we both attended parent’s nights (though we stopped mid way in high school – but he was an A student and pretty much on his own by then.)

We let Nick see “R rated movies” including ones with violence and allowed him to select his own video games – though I think he was more directed to Sim City than to anything violent. 

We were no different from most parents - and our kids mostly turned out ok.  The only really bad kid that I know of was a difficult kid even as a child.  He had ADHD and by the end of high school may have started to sell drugs.  One other kid (an Eagle Scout) apparently suffered from mental illness of some sort that showed itself in college - possibly schizophrenia.  I knew his parents well, and they were as good parents as one could get. 

The circumstance surrounding the recent shootings don’t suggest that the perpetrators lacked exposure to religion.  The Columbine shooting involved two kids from apparently stable middle class homes.   One of the kids appears to have been a sociopath (recent studies suggest this is a genetic matter, not a fault of child raising).  The Virginia Tech shooter also came from an intact family, and he was a Christian too - according to his pastor, he understood the Bible  (so much for that!)   The Connecticut shooter apparently came from a family that divorced, but in today’s America, divorce is common enough - there was nothing else to suggest that religion played a hand either way.  One thing though, his mother loved guns.  Hmmm.

So if we form our behavior by modeling the behavior of adults we see, what does religion do?

It enforces norms.  Thus, Catholics may avoid divorce a bit more than average, and if they divorce, they avoid remarriage. Ultra Orthodox Jews, the Amish and many Muslims enforce very conservative dress codes, sometimes veering on the bizarre (like when Jewish women wear a wig to “cover” their heads).  Many conservative Christians oppose abortion, some oppose birth control.  Many think the public schools and secular society in general is evil.  And that’s about it. 

So why do assholes like Huckabee tell us that religion played a role in the massacre?  They do so because their political and media base loves to hear just how fucked up the liberal secular world is, and how much better things were in the old days.*

The old days were not better, but you could get some really good tomatoes at the farm stands.

*Ok, liberals also use events like the recent shooting for political advantage.  Did you hear Cuomo’s speech about gun control?  It reeked of false emotion.  NY does not need another firearms bill, but Cuomo needs to create a stir that might help him stand out next time he runs for office, especially if the office is that of president.