God 2.0

It was a mild February afternoon and I was walking in a park near my home.  


When I go for walks, I try to do vocal exercises.  I sing in a church choir and need to do vocalizing to keep my voice in shape.  Sometimes I will sing a hymn instead.  Today I chose a hymn, sung lightly of course.   So out came, “my soul rejoices in God my savior.”  


I thought I was alone but then I heard a man’s voice:  Do you really believe this stuff?


I looked around but did not see anyone nearby.  But as I stared at the empty space where the voice came from, a figure of a man began to appear as if from out of a fog.   


Me: Who the Hell are you?


Him: Let me introduce myself, I’m the Lord God.   


Me: You?  



Him: Yes.  


Me: What are you doing here?  


Him:  I thought it was time to see my peeps.  


I thought we needed to start a new era of revelations.  I means really, the Garden of Eden?  Original Sin?   And a Savior crucified?  It is all nonsense (except the crucifixion part, the Romans considered Jesus to be a rebel. 


Me: Nonsense?


Him: Yes.  Let’s look at the notion that youvneed for a savior.  Do you do need to be saved?   Even if Adam sinned, how did his sin rub off on you?  And besides, there is no sin of Adam, no Garden of Eden either.   And no original sin. 


Me: If there is no Garden of Eden, how did the story get started?  


Him: Mankind needed a creation myth.  So I told a whopper - whispered in the ears of a few impressionable men and so it went.  



Me:  Why did you lie?  

Him:  Because you can’t handle the truth.


Me: That’s a line from A Few Good Men.


Him:  Where do you think the screenwriter got it?  I whispered it into his ears too.  


Me: So what is true about creation?


Him: Ok, first I tried to explain about the big bang and the first moments of the 


universe, but it went over everyone’s heads.  They did not even know that the earth was a globe that travelled around the sun.  So I had to try something simpler that the people could understand.  It’s like how Republicans tell their voters that tax cuts bring prosperity.  


Me:  So what do we do now? 


Him: Fess up.   


Me:  That will kill organized religion. 


Him: Do you have a better idea?  I was going to call it God 2.0.   


Me:  God 2.0?


Him: Yes.  Starting with the creation of the world, I will explain how the earth was created from coalescing matter.  And life evolved from the simplest chemicals.   


Me:  So if that is how it happened, where do you come in? 


Him:  I am both the executive in charge and project manager.  But once the ball got rolling, we let nature take its course.  So no Adam and Eve.  We do have banks of servers to keep track of all the data.


No original sin either.  In fact the whole notion of sin needs to be re-written.   


And sorry to tell the Catholic Church but sex is not sinful.  And it is not only for making babies.  It was meant to be fun.   If it was not fun, who would bother?  


Even sex outside of marriage is not a sin.  What is sinful is betraying your spouse.  



Oh - premarital sex is risky, and for folks who cannot support the child, it is a bad idea.  


Me: What about gay sex?  


Him:  That’s fine too.  


Me: But aren’t homosexuals sinners?   


Him: No.  Why should they be?


Me: What about St. Paul’s letters?  


Him: St. Paul was obsessed with sex and suspicious of women.  He spent half of his time masturbating to fantasies about young men.  


I don’t want to pretend that having sex is not risky.  It is and the risks include disease and pregnancy.  Also jealousy and even anger (think of a horny guy who gets refused).  That’s enough for men and women to deal with.  Why make it sinful if those involved are ok with it?  


And then we have masturbation and impure thoughts.  Sorry what make these thoughts and desires sinful?  But wanting a donut not sinful?


Me: Wow.  God 2.0 would change everything.   


Him: It might but we need to find a way to get the revelation accepted.  Anyway, stay tuned for the launch of God 2.0!

 


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