Valentine’s Day is a Real Holiday

Valentine’s Day is a Real Holiday.

Yes, it is.

If you don’t think so, how about this. 

Halloween is real too, with the candy and the cheap costumes. 

And Christmas presents and trees are the real Christmas.

And Easter….  Ok.  How about Superbowl Sunday?  That too is more or less a holiday.

Ok, I’m pushing the word holiday a bit, but then Easter in not a holiday in the sense that we understand it now – which is to say a day off.   We don’t have an English word for what the days are, but let’s try Special Days.  We can all agree that the Superbowl, Valentine’s Day and Haloween are special days.

In the middle of the 19^th century, the visit of a national figure to a large town would have drawn attention and a crowd, but nowadays we gather in virtual communities to watch the Superbowl, or a series of big games on Thanksgiving Day.  We also gather to see the last episode of Seinfeld.   But a major speech?  Not really, and by the way, do speeches matter anymore?  I suggest not – soundbytes do, but not speeches.  Nor do churches matter much anymore.  They may sway voters, but if the Superbowl competed with Sunday Mass, the churches would be empty.  Even real holidays pale compared to special days.  For example – is Martin Luther King’s birthday important?  Or President’s Day?   Do you worry more about them or about having candy for Halloween, or a present for your spouse on Valentine’s Day.

Let’s accept what is without troubling ourselves,  We can enjoy the remnants of past practices and rituals, like we treasure a lace doily made by our grandmother.  But we don’t use index cards for data storage.  

It is not foolish to pine for the genuine.  Some change has been for the bad.  Tomatoes fared especially badly over the last five decades.  The ones sold now in grocery stores are tasteless shells of their former selves.  If you want to savor a real tomato, you’ll need to find one of the better farm stands, or grow them in your own garden.  I have had success with the Black Krim – but heirlooms are tricky; they are susceptible to blight and some are so fragile that you need to eat them immediately or they spoil.  But the artisanal potato chip is a bit much.  The plain Lay’s potato chip is far better. And please don’t take any of the salt off my potato chips.  If I wanted a healthy snack, I’d have eaten an apple.

Like many of us, I’ve tried to make our Christmases more real.  When Nick was a boy, we had a real tree and strung popcorn. I have even made a few hand made ornaments.  But to fill up the tree, we also needed boxes of commercial ornaments – and a bunches of lights too.   And one year our dog took a bite of the popcorn.  That was a mess.  And no matter how otherwise real our Christmas was, my son wanted  presents, usually toys.  We supplied them along with a short-lived Santa Claus story.  We probably overdid it, but Nick grew up ok.  We also never took Nick to church, didn’t even baptize him.  And that’s ok.  So much for a real Christmas.

Easter too, is just candy and a family dinner.  And that’s ok.  As far as religion goes, I still love the sacred music and even the incense.  And I could listen to the Pange Lingua over and over.  But I don’t believe a word of it.

And what is real about Halloween?  It is a remnant of a Celtic Fire Feast that was converted the Christian use (so were the others).  For practicing Catholics, they can still go to Mass on November 1, but any relation to the old festival is gone.  But so what?  In neighborhoods across the US, kids assemble in small groups to go house to house to beg for treats, sometimes accompanied by parents.  It’s ok.  It’s fun.  And yes, someone makes money off the candy purchases, but they do off the super bowl beer purchases too.  And isn’t it great when we can spread joy to a bunch of kids and their parents for the cost of a few dollars of candy?

So what about Valentine’s Day?  It has a genuine link to the late Middle Ages (to Chaucer) and by the 1700s cards were produced to be sent by lovers.  It’s has grown through commerce to becoming a broad enough to be celebrated at schools (so is Halloween) and in offices where decorations abound.  It a holiday of little importance, but again, it is not bad to see couples sharing gifts and going out for dinner, or making a festive evening at home.

When we travel, we often enjoy the pomp and circumstance of other lands.  If in a Catholic land, we may come upon a procession of priests, altar boys and then the congregation, processing with a statue of a local saint.  Or if in India we may marvel at the spectacle of an elaborate wedding with the wedding party in native costume with the wedded couple carried about on elephants.  Even in the US we have China towns with their New Years festivals and New Orleans with Mardi Gras. 

Well, we ought to learn to enjoy the spectacles we encounter when we see the familiar.  So when we see the kids out and about next Halloween, enjoy it.  And don’t mutter to yourself when the aisles are full of displays of candy.  Yes, its commercial, and that’s what we are.

PS: On Valentine’s Day I bought take out from Panera.  The restaurant is in the local mall, near the multiplex.  I saw groups of young folks (college aged?  Early 20s) out for a meal and I assume a movie.  Anything that makes folks come together for a good time is good.